okay, so if you’re anything like me, you’re just now realizing through a storm of facebook posts that TODAY is, in fact, the hallowed eve. that is to say, halloween. and that means one of two things: 1.) a bunch of disgusting children are going to be trespassing on your property this evening, dressed like FOOLS, or 2.) you’re ready to join them on the streets, “just passing” as young enough to be out there (nobody believes this, they give you nothing). either way, you’re going to end up buying a whole bunch of candy and eating it yourself. and what better time to do that than the day after halloween, when all that sweet sweet candy goes on sale??
so allow me to tell you about one candy you might want to avoid.
*note: candy corn added for comparison; not actually included in bag of m&ms.
those jerks at m&ms think they can just crap out anything, and we’ll buy it from them. well… they’re right. this season’s disgusting new variant on an original that does not need to be improved upon is the white chocolate candy corn m&m. alright, so we’ve got a lot going on here. first of all, they are yellow, orange, and white, just like real candy corn! they’re a bit larger than normal m&ms, around the size of the peanut variety, but retaining that signature m&m spheroid shape. i also noticed my bag’s m&ms were a bit slimy, but i cannot say whether that was just my bag, or if they all suffer from this gross affliction. eh. regardless, visually, they did it. i get it – candy corn. mission accomplished.
taste… taste is another story.
what you have here is a densely packed, super-sweet white chocolate interior. the “artificial and natural flavors” they’ve chosen provide absolutely no hint of candy corn flavor (which should be simple – just add honey!!). so essentially we have just white chocolate m&ms, which would be fine if they just weren’t so damn sweet!! bleh. combine with a shell that seems a little thicker than a typical m&m shell, and a greasy slime coating (again, could be just my bag), and we have ourselves a worthless product that becomes inedible after half a handful.
as a sweet bonus, some of the m&ms tasted vaguely of alcohol?? an odd fermented flavor. maybe it was just the rotten caramel apple i ate for lunch, but, if not, this was hugely unpleasant.
so, in the informed opinion of a self-admitted lover of real candy corn (i’m sorry if you can no longer trust my tastes), this candy sucks. it’s not the worst thing i’ve put in my mouth this halloween, but it ranks up there. if you made the mistake of picking these up, do your damnedest to unload them on unsuspecting children – those kids will eat anything.
4 Comments
Katie
Hey now, the kids aren’t all disgusting! I saw an adorable child dressed a moose earlier. I hate white chocolate as it is, but the fact they felt the need to mix it with candy corn is deplorable.
Tampa Bay Food Monster
haha well moose children perhaps may be the exception.
Jackie @ The Barn Cat
I SEARCHED for these last year and found them on a trip to Tampa. I gave some of them to my coworker and he said they tasted like poison. I didn’t hate them, but I also had 2 huge bags of them and I don’t admit defeat easily. I definitely didn’t buy them again this year.
Tampa Bay Food Monster
not as bad as poison, and when i first tried them i was surprised at how they weren’t nearly as awful as i was expecting, but it doesn’t take eating many of them to never want to see one again.