burgers… an ever-evolving art form. perhaps the most delicious of the arts. certainly more delicious than charcoal drawings. fast food places are constantly throwing out new ideas, different combinations of flavors and ingredients, different methods of delivery. it’s a whole new battleground! (better that than an oatmeal battleground.)

so burger king fires off a new burger into the mix, something they’re touting as unique and exciting: the jalapeño and cheddar stuffed steakhouse burger. a burger, with things in the patty! well that’s nothing new. people have been doing that since the first caveman formed a patty out of extra-lean ground mammoth meat, and set it atop his crude, prehistoric george foreman. but i guess it’s new to the fast food world, so it should count for something.

burger king stuffed steakhouse burger

BEHOLD! teh breger. a jalepeño and cheddar cheese stuffed beef patty, topped with lettuce and tomato, with a “spicy poblano sauce”. now, i am a big fan of all things spicy, so i was looking forward to both the jalapeño stuffing as well as the poblano sauce going into this. i will say right now: i did not get the heat i was hoping for.

the first thing i noticed was how insanely dry the burger patty was. it reminded me of their veggie burger patty, which i practically lived off back during my ill-fated month long period as a vegetarian. the outside was rough and appeared shriveled, as though the patty had been grilled for way too long but not charred. the insides were almost as dry, despite my hopes for the cheese to add some moisture to it. in fact, the cheese was hardly noticeable at all, in taste or texture. it was as though the grilling process completely claimed whatever flavor it may have at one point offered. the jalapeños were present and apparent, though not nearly as spicy as i would have liked. they reminded me more of green peppers than jalapeños. and the poblano sauce was no help to the burger, there not being enough of it to counteract the bland dryness of the meat, and it also not packing enough of a spice to work as more than just a condiment. the lettuce and tomato were standard burger king veggies.

it was a wholly disappointing experience. it was not the worst burger i’ve ever had, but i was holding out a lot more hope for it than it deserved. and at 3.99 a pop, this is not a burger i’d buy again. sorry, burger king. they should just stick to the standard angry whopper, indy whopper, or black stack bbq griller (on record as my favorite burger king product to date, released as a promotion for men in black II). but i’m sure they’ll come out with a new burger within a couple month’s time, so we’ve always got something to look forward to. in life, i mean. at least we’ve got new burger king burgers to keep us going.