remember the past? back when burger king just wanted to sell you a whopper and some sub-standard fries? now they’re doing all they can to make you think they’re cool. those jerks. i blame this guy (it’s not who you think). well, whatever they did, it worked, because i do think they’re cool. but sometimes, sometimes i yearn for their past. and you know what? sometimes they do too. but instead of going back to fond childhood memories and nostalgia, their reach only extends back to 2006.

bk double stacker

it’s the bk double stacker. and it’s back. and these burger king bastards are acting like this is something they’ve only just come up with! but please – don’t believe me. observe this commercial:

yeah. that wasn’t the commercial i wanted to post at all, but it was so badass that i had to. god if advertising was like this all the time, i’d be paying more attention to the commercials than the shows. the commercial i was talking about was like… some scientists, or mathematicians, and they had “discovered” the most economical way to sell burgers to idiots or something. i dunno the idea was that it was newly created and a good value. well THEY WERE WRONG. on both counts.

1.) burger king has been selling this thing since 2006. except back then, apparently there was more cheese. wikipedia told me this. my memory is crap. they may have only just brought it back recently, but it’s not new.

2.) the pricing is stupid. a dollar gets you the single burger, with two pieces of bacon (half pieces, actually), a slice of cheese, and some of that wacky stacker cheese sauce. two dollars gets you one extra patty, and an extra [half] slice of bacon. same amount of cheese. three dollars gets a third patty, another slice of cheese (now two slices), and no more bacon. bacon maxes out at three ‘half pieces’. WHY? you get more buying multiple single stackers, and that’s not even taking the buns into consideration!

what’chu tryin’ to pull, bk lounge?

(the burger tastes fine, though it is a bit too much cheesiness for me. i prefer to have vegetables to balance the cheese and meat, which the stacker patently lacks. if you haven’t had this, you are not missing out on anything. i ended up covering it in their buffalo sauce to give it a more interesting flavor.)

so if that little “trip down memory lane” wasn’t enough to piss you off, get a load of this:

new tenders

this is what passes for burger king’s chicken tenders these days. these are nuggets! NUGGETS!! come on, burger king! have a little self respect. at least the little crowny nuggets had some personality. these? well, i could easily be at wendy’s right now. and i got 4 for a buck. that’s some shit right there. they taste alright, pretty much how they tasted before, but really, i miss their old tenders! you remember those? god they were my favorite food as a kid. always got a nine piece and some barbecue sauce. delicious. they were little strips. here’s a picture from taiwan, where they apparently sold them as late as 2007. they phased them out here around 2006. …right around the time the stackers came out. coincidence? highly doubtful.

i guess it doesn’t matter anyway. they’ve got the chicken fries. they’re pretty good. but if they felt the need to stop producing the crowns, why not go just back to the original? i want my nostalgia, dammit.

ah well. no more stackers or tenders for me. i still love you, burger king.