herr's pizza chips

i uh… i… what? potato chips? that taste like pizza?? WONDERS NEVER CEASE! perhaps there truly is a god.

or is there??

of course, as with most things that should be great by sole merit of the individual parts involved, these pizza flavored chips are a colossal failure. so much so that after having eaten them, i was unable to leave my bed for two straight weeks (thus the lack of updates). the most i did during that time was seize violently and vomit what little food i had left inside of me, all the while moaning “why?”… it was a bit melodramatic.

dem pizza chips

what i’m trying to say here is that herr’s dropped the ball. they took the greatest food of all time, and the greatest snack of all time, and then threw out the greatest food of all time, and gave us some crappy chips. real crappy chips. well, to be fair, the potato chips themselves are alright. but the seasonings they used… what the hell were they thinking? they used three different types of cheeses, none of which were mozzarella, and some ‘italian seasonings’, and produced a chip that bears no resemblance to pizza at all. the flavor varies wildly depending on the chip you eat; some have a stronger cheese taste (gross), some are more seasoned (kind of okay), and all are too salty.

but my main gripe here is the pizza label – they are offering something that they in no way provide. why do that to us? why string us along like that? why taunt us?? I LOVE PIZZA. okay, i’m starting to convulse again, so i’m gonna quit here. just know this: if you need proof that there is no god, look no further than herr’s pizza flavored potato chips.