…i am a bitter, bitter man. bitter may be the best word to describe be. well, maybe hungry. but bitter is in there. like a mug of straight up black columbian coffee. or a 99% cacao dark chocolate. nose-scrunching bitter.
so keep that in mind as you read this.
TODAY i tried the chicken enchilada grilled stuft burrito from taco bell. yes. i love taco bell. we’ve been over that. so of course i’m gonna pick up their “new” (re-released) chicken enchilada burrito.
it looks much the same as their regular grilled stuft burritos on the outside, and on the inside it looks like any old taco bell anything you’ve ever seen: bullshit. (bitter-o-meter: 6) they don’t use anything new or interesting in this thing; they just slop a whole bunch of the same old stuff, including “red sauce”, which i never quite got the deal with (check out the enchirito). in fact, the only difference between this and the regular grilled stuft chicken burrito is instead of pepper jack sauce and fiesta salsa (awesome), they use sour cream and red sauce (awful). (bitter-o-meter: 7) then they slap that thing on the grill and pop it out for you, and they expect you to pay $3.50 for it!!
my first bite was all sour cream. my second bite was all sour cream. third and fourth, much the same. by the time i got to the real content of the burrito, i was so disillusioned with it all that i started to think that maybe taco bell isn’t the most authentic mexican food available… (bitter-o-meter: 8) but by the end of the burrito, i actually was feeling quite stuft myself (…bitter-o-meter: 3?) – STUFT WITH CORPORATE AMERICA’S HATE-LIES!!!! (bitter-o-meter: 10!!)
okay… so honestly it’s not that bad or anything. typical taco bell fair, nothing special. it costs too much for me to warrant buying again, but wasn’t disgusting or anything. just not my favorite. the real problem here is that today… today i found out they stopped selling my beloved chicken flatbread sandwich. it was my favorite! 99¢! delicious! it was a good deal!!!! the best. the best. and finding this out ruined my meal.
…i told you i was bitter.
Chicken Flatbread Sandwich