Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Taco Bell’s Cantina Bell Burrito

OHHH TACO BELL YOU’VE DONE IT AGAIN! bouncing straight off the wild popularity of your wildly mediocre doritos locos tacos, you’ve done a complete 180 and gone for the jugular of gourmet food. it works perfectly, because whenever i think “taco bell”, i immediately think “gourmet violent explosive diarrhea”. let’s see if they can expand that special flavor of gourmet directly into their food! this is the cantina bell menu… Read More

Burger King’s California Whopper

uh oh! looks like i’m gonna throw up after eating burger king again!! i think you always know what you’re getting into with fast food guacamole – delicious, well executed guac, made fresh daily based on a five century old recipe. oh fast food chains… stick to what you know. the california burger, burger king’s newest limited-time offering, is exactly what you imagine when you think of california: guacamole, bacon,.. Read More

Taco Bell’s XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito

oh ho! another exciting new concept from my fast food favorite/most deadly addiction, taco bell. god how i hate you, taco bell. i loathe thee. yet still… i need you. i need you inside me. SO this time around, taco bell has turned their ordinary grilled stuft burrito, deemed “too damned tiny” by hungry millions, into a gigantic monstrosity the size of your forearm. but, unlike the relative failure that.. Read More

Del Valle Restaurant & Market

DEL VALLE, restaurant and market on fowler and 15th street, next to trang viet cuisine. behind this unassuming, blend-into-the-background storefront, lies a wealth of delicious mexican food, groceries, and some DELIGHTFUL western apparel. and i probably never would have noticed it had my friend not told me about it. the inside is kind of sad. there’s hardly any room to eat, with maybe nine tables for diners. the majority of.. Read More