OH YES it’s the dirty world of chinese takeout! greasy, fried, MSG-laden, asian-styled food based off of bastardized recipes copied and pasted so many times over that it seems there may in fact be a portal going from the entrance of every takeout chinese restaurant to the same gross, sweaty kitchen. why do they exist in such numbers? why do they have to have such stupid names (happy wok, golden.. Read More
the Columbia Restaurant
sure, everyone’s been to the columbia restaurant. i’m sure you’ve been. yeah, you. just look at that smug look on your ugly face. think you’re special? well you’re not. you ain’t shit. that is, until you’ve been given an exclusive private tour of the columbia by a fourth generation columbia family member, after being driven there in a tight-azz limousine. …and by ‘tight-azz limousine’, i mean limo/bus hybrid, and by.. Read More
Mel’s Hot Dogs
hot dogs, dude. hot dogs. nature’s perfect food? probably. tube o’ meat, stuck in bread. phallic. hilarious. hot dogs always mean a good time. but, dear god, WHY do they have to be relegated to sporting events, backyard barbecues, and street vendors?? why can’t i go to a classy establishment, three piece suit and top hat, and order myself a nice chili dog? who makes these damn rules?? well, in.. Read More
TC Choy’s Asian Bistro
ohhh man remember pf chang? dude that guy was a class act. he made chinese cool again! and bistros. american chinese bistros. he was an american chinese hero. wait… what? you’re telling me he wasn’t a real person? i see. apparently, DR. PF CHANG is actually a fictional character, created for marketing purposes. kinda like jimmy carter. as it turns out, the name “pf chang” actually came from the two.. Read More
Renzo’s Argentine Steakhouse
alright dude, this is it – time to impress. take a shower. put on that semi-nice shirt. pull out that invitation to that classy gourmet restaurant. and get ready to get laid. you know you’re gonna get some… you fancy as hell and people be buying you shit left and right. this is the life of a food blogger. hitting up renzo’s gourmet argentine steakhouse for their two year anniversary.. Read More