Vodka & Lemonade | Piña Colada | Strawberry Daiquiri | Mudslide

i was recently asked to review the new freeze & shake cocktails, from the makers of smirnoff, captain morgan, baileys, and guinness (just to name a few brands). i will review all of the freeze and shake frozen cocktails over the course of this four part series, and, in doing so, i will get trashed.

next up in my freezy/drinky adventure after the vodka-tastic vodka & lemonade is the myer’s frozen piña colada. i like a piña colada! it’s a solid drink. i like coconut. i like pineapple. and i like rum! friggin’ piña coladas. it’s like jesus came to me and said “you know what, buddy? you’ve been alright. i’mma give you a treat.” and then he pooped out piña colada. huzzah! my beliefs are affirmed (my belief in getting drunk before noon)!

this time around, having learned from my errors, i let the shaker thaw out a bit before squeezing and shaking. unfortunately, i may have let it thaw for a bit too long. it was really easy to squeeze, which scared me. shaking it confirmed that this was going to be a much looser, much wetter drink than before. which is fine by me; i love when things are _____ and ___. (mouse over for the answer! surprise!)

unfortunately, i ran into a little kink. as i poured the drink into my glass, the flow abruptly stopped. there was a large frozen core in the center of the shaker, which was obstructing the flow. this same thing had happened to me last time as well, but while this time i was able to violently shake it into something pourable, last time i didn’t have that luxury, and had to struggle to get the drink out. this is not a huge complaint or anything, but it does factor into things. if the drink freezes in such a way that the center is fairly solid every time, it makes it somewhat less convenient and simple to use this product. also, i would wager that the frozen core is mostly the flavoring, whereas the more liquid parts are going to be the alcohol, which freezes at a lower temperature than the rest of the drink. so the mix isn’t going to be the right ratio unless the entire thing is blended perfectly. just something to note.

i enjoyed the piña colada much more than the frozen lemonade. this is mostly due to my preference of rum over vodka. the liquor in this drink was about as strong as the vodka was in the lemonade (both 13% alcohol), but to me it felt much more balanced. you throw vodka in lemonade, and you’re just spiking it. but a piña colada is a cocktail, in which rum is a regular, important factor. a virgin piña colada is not a piña colada. so though it was strong in alcohol, it felt right. there was not too much alcohol, just enough to feel it in the beginning every sip. then it would settle nicely into a not-too-sweet, not too fruity coconut/pineapple flavor. a satisfying finish. a great balance.

the flavors were not incredible, though. the rum was alright, but definitely not my favorite. the piña colada mix tasted just like that – a mix. it was not fresh tasting, it did not taste particularly authentic. not like real fruit was blended in front of me. but it was about what i was expecting.

the consistency was less satisfying this time, which i attribute to having let it sit out for longer than i should have. the frozen bits were a bit flaky rather than having a smooth texture throughout, and they kind of filled up the more wet melted parts of the drink. i was disappoint. but i blame myself.

i still preferred this drink to the lemonade, solely based on liquor. i would take a crappy well rum drink over a name brand vodka drink any day. and this was not crappy. it was decent. i was happy with the way it came out – it looked and felt like what you’d get from a restaurant. the flavor didn’t match up to that, but it was not bad. still a fun and convenient drink.

ALSO… if you happened to be wondering where you can purchase these wild wacky frozen cocktails, their website now has a store locator through which you can find the answers you seek.