Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Lee Roy Selmon’s Restaurant

lee roy salmon… the man. the myth. the legend. he single-handedly took tampa bay and molded it into the lump of floridian half-pride that it is today. and then he died of a stroke. we honor his memory by eating the food he invented. in the year 2000, outback steakhouse had sex with lee roy, and they had a baby. that baby quickly grew into one of the 10 best.. Read More

DDrinkz Smoothies & Sweeties

remember boba? REMEMBER BOBA?? remember that shit. it’s still good. and it’s still alive. people are still making new boba places! so the fad didn’t die way back in 2009. at least not at DDRINKZ. oh god the place is called ddrinkz. there’s a z in there. and am i… am i supposed to pronounce the d? “dee-drinks”? “d’drinks”? i don’t know. it was confusing. but i suppose it’s inconsequential… Read More

Bollywood Cafe

are you ready for the ultimate in indian food and entertainment? you’d better be. strap yourselves in my friends, and hold on tight, because this review features… A MAGICIAN. ohhh you weren’t expecting that, were you? or did you catch it before you started reading the review due to its boldness, CAPS, and immense size? well, sorry about that. maybe it’ll teach you a lesson about reading too far ahead.. Read More

L.A. Super-Deluxe Wrap-up!

and you thought i was done with the LA posts, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU??! i’m sorry baby, i didn’t mean to scare you. you know i’d never hurt you. come here. come sit in my lap. there we go. now let’s take a look at a whole bunch of places i went to in LA, but didn’t deem “good enough” to write about at length. or properly document with photographs… Read More

Arizona Black & White Tea

now THIS is the money tea, baby! this is where it’s at – the little seen black & white tea, by arizona. it is the perfect blend of black tea and white tea, with just enough sweetness to drink whenever. it is by no means the sweetest tea they make, but it is not bitter at all. juuuuust right. the taste is mostly black, because it is so much stronger.. Read More