ARE YOU READY FOR SOME SHITTY PIZZA?? welcome to college, idiot. population: everyone. are you ready to not have any money, and eat what is basically the taste equivalent of dirt? you’d better be. because every night, for the rest of your college career, this will be your dinner: wow! five stars? that’s a lot of stars! like, all of ’em, right? all the stars? listen. lemme level with you.. Read More
Taco Bell’s Bacon Ranch Chicken Flatbread Sandwich
have you ever lost someone you loved? lost someone, someone so dear to you, that your entire world fell apart as a result? i’m talking death, breakup, ended friendships, moving away… the breaking of a bond that was so strong that nothing else mattered beyond it. the end of life as you knew it. you ever have that? …’cause i have. once i had to bury my dead. turn my.. Read More
Tarek’s Cafe
okay. so you’re new to USF. i understand. you’re a little baby! and there are a whole bunch of you. a whole bunch of little, annoying babies, running around campus all hours of the day, enjoying your new-found freedom, drinking and having sex and sleeping through classes, thinking life is oh-so-wonderful, and generally ruining everything for anyone who has to come near the university for any reason at all. thanks.. Read More
Burger King’s California Whopper
uh oh! looks like i’m gonna throw up after eating burger king again!! i think you always know what you’re getting into with fast food guacamole – delicious, well executed guac, made fresh daily based on a five century old recipe. oh fast food chains… stick to what you know. the california burger, burger king’s newest limited-time offering, is exactly what you imagine when you think of california: guacamole, bacon,.. Read More
Wing King
“Great Food for Great People!!” is that so, wing king? king of wings? great food, for great people? well, even if what you’re selling can be considered ‘great food’, how can you guarantee your customers are ‘great people’? bad people like wings too. and, more importantly, what the hell kind of slogan is that?!? great food for great people. pfft. if you truly are the king of wings, you could.. Read More