ahhh the TV dinner. the most convenient way to enjoy a full meal, and the reason the microwave was invented. how many countless evenings were saved by opting to nuke one of the many varieties of frozen foodstuffs, rather than consume whatever else was at hand (cats, for example)? yes, truly the best alternative to eating cats were tiny trays of frozen food, preferably presented to you by a penguin.. Read More
“GIMME A TASTE OF YO’ SWEETIE” yes, this is the clever marketing campaign of the new sweetie apple, brought to you by the fine folks at first fruits, makers of the excellent opal apple i reviewed earlier this year. or, at least it would be, if they chose me as their new PR dude/ad man (i’m right here guys, ready and waiting). here are a couple more potential advertisements right.. Read More
so burgers, eh? burgers be BLOWIN UP! everywhere. all over the place. everybody seems to think that just because they use real beef rather than the dehydrated dog turds that many fast food restaurants rely on (an entirely fair and researched accusation), they are the burger champs. five guys? burger 21? delicious, delicious burger monger?? WHAT A BUNCH OF JERKS. i mean, come on guys, get with the program –.. Read More
EATS. AMERICA. GRILLS. all the best stuff, packed into one place. that place? eats! american grill. it’s like uncle sam got stoned, wrote down all the food he craved, and passed out. then his sneaky nephew, america itself, went through his star spangled trousers, swiped the list and a wad of dough, and made a restaurant with it. this is that restaurant. eats! resides on south dale mabry,.. Read More
in spite of anything you might know about me gleaned from these reviews, my one and only dream in life is to become SUPER BUFF. i want to get ripped. there’s nothing more impressive than a burly meat-sack full of rippling muscles. i know it, you know it, macho man randy savage knows it: [youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Igui65gY5M”] this message has been pounded into me by every cool dude i interacted with in.. Read More