ever since my sweet baby athenos closed down, i’ve been hurting for some real ultimate gyros. sure, salem’s will do in a pinch, and acropolis does just fine (if you’re a fucking snob), but i want my middle of the road, delicious time gyros! GOD ATHENOS, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME??! enter: little greek. i’m gonna just write it straight up – i’ve found my athenos replacement. really. that easy… Read More
i must say, it’s been far too long since my last taco bell review. what a sad state of affairs!! i basically live at taco bell, sucking what little nutrients i can find from their many massive meat tubes behind the counter. the only problem being the inevitable dehydration from the constant diarrhea. ah well, such is life. such is love. today, we explore taco bell’s most neckbeardy creation to.. Read More
UPDATE: trio’s, sadly, has gone under. no more trio’s. * * * ah, the gyro • pizza • burger. did ever such a perfect beast exist? no. no! of course not. only in dreams. BUT. this place came close. because they INVENTED, for the first time ever, definitely, confirmed 100%, the pizza with gyro stuff on it. my god… what has science done? the place is called trio’s. i mean,.. Read More
THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH …regarding orangina – wtf? this thing… this thing is a mystery to me. it’s got so much going on. there’s a lot to sort through on this one. where to begin?? let’s start at the top. literally, the top. the cap. the first thing you’ll notice about orangina is that it’s in a badass glass bottle, necessitating a badass cap. they feature a twist-off cap on.. Read More
the title is to be read “twenty-twelve”. because that way it’s like this year’s florida state fair… TOOK PLACE IN THE FUTURE!! now that that important business is out of the way, i can begin. after last year’s state fair visit was such a rousing success, leaving me with many an erotic, food-entrenched memory, i decided it must become a tradition. so we went back this year, hoping to find.. Read More