Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

The Metro Restaurant and Lounge

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOwhG_y0HQg] to celebrate groundhog day this year, a group of us went to the tampa theatre to watch the holiday classic. after the movie, we were stuck in dreaded downtown tampa to find food, and fend off the angry drunken homeless. after being turned down by the brand new taco bus location (closed, pfft), and learning that square one burgers also closes at ten, we were locked in what seemed.. Read More

Bubble Up

THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH do you remember back in the day, long before the lemon lime soda wars ended in the bloody death of 7-up, back when these sodas were a clear, crisp miracle for your taste buds? back when they truly were the un-cola? remember this little fucker: oh snap. that guy’s ready to mess shit up. and surf. you know, i never really got these abstract company mascots.. Read More

Wok N Roll Chinese Food

OH YES it’s the dirty world of chinese takeout! greasy, fried, MSG-laden, asian-styled food based off of bastardized recipes copied and pasted so many times over that it seems there may in fact be a portal going from the entrance of every takeout chinese restaurant to the same gross, sweaty kitchen. why do they exist in such numbers? why do they have to have such stupid names (happy wok, golden.. Read More

Burger King’s NEW French Fries

okay. so i went a little crazy for thanksgiving. what began as a challenge to myself to see how much i could eat in one day concluded itself in a symphony of physical anguish and mental collapse. i awoke at the crack of dawn on got straight to work, soloing my way through a tray of stuffing, half a casserole dish of green bean casserole, seven pounds of mashed potatoes,.. Read More

Burger King’s Deluxe Cheeseburger

why it’s my old friend burger king! how are you old friend? any new burgers lately? what’s that? you’ve STOLEN THE BIG MAC??? oh, burger king! wellllllllll it looks like burger king is up to its old tricks again! after the king himself snuck into mcdonald’s headquarters, stole their secret recipe for egg mcmuffins, and then made a commercial about it, now it looks like he’s gone after mcdonald’s crown.. Read More