while on the usf campus the other day, i noticed a sign on the window of subway – bbq pulled pork sandwich. i looked around me. …no sign of corpses. no still-living bodies writhing in pain. no puddles of fresh vomit. nothing. could subway be making a pulled pork sandwich that didn’t cause massive sickness, or the dead to rise again? i was dubious. i was also… hungry. i went.. Read More
Ski
THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH WITNESS the unholy union of lemon and orange!! resulting in a whitish soda! contained in a green bottle! capped with a silver cap! named after a winter sport. what sort of mad person could devise such a brew, specifically designed to arouse and confuse the senses? with so much going on all at once, it’s a wonder i was able to drink any at all before.. Read More
Taco Bell’s XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito
oh ho! another exciting new concept from my fast food favorite/most deadly addiction, taco bell. god how i hate you, taco bell. i loathe thee. yet still… i need you. i need you inside me. SO this time around, taco bell has turned their ordinary grilled stuft burrito, deemed “too damned tiny” by hungry millions, into a gigantic monstrosity the size of your forearm. but, unlike the relative failure that.. Read More
Indian Flatbread and Sadie’s of New Mexico
okay, look – i’ve been BUSY, alright?? get off my goddamn back about it!! we all have lives, okay, and sometimes that real shit gets in the way all the other bullshit we just loooove to do. get it? GET IT?!?! oh god, okay, don’t… don’t cry. come on. buck up. i didn’t mean to yell. i just… i got a lot on my plate right now. but i care,.. Read More
Arizona Piña Colada Virgin Cocktail
OH THOSE BASTARDS at arizona have done it again! and by again, i mean for a second time. they’ve brought back their “very popular” (according to their website) piña colada virgin cocktail drink thing. now, maybe it’s my terrible memory, but i don’t remember this thing at all. ever. but i guess it did exist. and i guess it was popular enough to bring back (but not popular enough to.. Read More