many years ago (maybe three or four) i stumbled upon a strange and delicious new candy creation from wonka called “sweet tart rope”. i was already a fan of nerds rope, so i knew that candy in rope form could be successful, and i liked sweet tarts well enough, so i decided to pick up a pack.

it was a miraculous, wacky candy concoction that had a red licorice outside, and a gooey blue paste inside, filled with nerds. NO SWEET TARTS IN SIGHT. but that was okay, because this shit rocked. it was such a strange combination of flavors and textures, the cherry chew and the sour slime and the tart crunch. all at once! i picked this candy up whenever i saw it… which lasted for only a few months…

and then it was gone.

the candy had disappeared! THIS WAS A DISASTER! i had fallen in love with that candy, to the point that i fantasized about buying it in bulk (which i did not, regrettably) and designing my very own in-car dispenser a la wayne’s world. alas, these dreams died the day they discontinued sweet tarts rope.

OR DID THEY??

kazoozles package

enter: wonka cherry punch kazoozles! much to my delight, they had revamped the sweet tarts rope, sadly losing the crunchy nerds, and replacing the name with one that makes just about as much sense as the original. but all that mattered to me was that they brought it back! thank you, candy gods! thank you for your kindness!!

cherry punch kazoozles

the candy remains much the same, though i recall the chewy licorice exterior being a brighter, more vibrant red. but it still has the same cherry flavor, and still offers a nice chew that doesn’t really stick to your teeth (too badly). the insides are the same strange, slightly sour paste that they originally had. it is still a neat combination of sensations brought by the textures, so i’m pretty happy with it. but i will always miss the original sweet tart rope of yesteryear.

they also offer a pink lemonade variety, which has a sour sugared outside and pink paste center, but it’s not nearly as good (in my opinion). these cherry punch kazoozles are one of my top favorite candies of all time.