Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Wok N Roll Chinese Food

OH YES it’s the dirty world of chinese takeout! greasy, fried, MSG-laden, asian-styled food based off of bastardized recipes copied and pasted so many times over that it seems there may in fact be a portal going from the entrance of every takeout chinese restaurant to the same gross, sweaty kitchen. why do they exist in such numbers? why do they have to have such stupid names (happy wok, golden dragon, ho king,.. Read More

TC Choy’s Asian Bistro

ohhh man remember pf chang? dude that guy was a class act. he made chinese cool again! and bistros. american chinese bistros. he was an american chinese hero. wait… what? you’re telling me he wasn’t a real person? i see. apparently, DR. PF CHANG is actually a fictional character, created for marketing purposes. kinda like jimmy carter. as it turns out, the name “pf chang” actually came from the two creators of the.. Read More

Yummy House

WELCOME TO THE INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF YUM. POPULATION: APPETITE. there’s something special about the yummy house. as though it exists outside our own world. just beyond our universe. perhaps it’s from another dimension? another plane of existence? maybe it’s from the future. or the recent past. whatever reality the yummy house exists in, it is certainly a delicious one. an authentic chinese one, to be sure. located on waters among countless unassuming strip.. Read More

Golden Inn Chinese Restaurant

when i was a child, i got my teeth cleaned there. then the dentist’s office closed down. now it has become the SINGLE GREATEST CHINESE RESTAURANT KNOWN TO MAN. scientifically proven. okay maybe that’s a bit far, but still, golden inn (i don’t even know if this is their website, but i enjoy it regardless) has been my family’s favorite chinese place for years, dating back to when it first opened, when i.. Read More

Super Buffet

what a great name. i mean really – super buffet. that’s a good buffet. only beaten by mega buffet, which of course is beaten by ultra buffet. i guess the best would be “ultimate buffet”. could you imagine going there? ULTIMATE BUFFET. you would never need to go to a buffet again… oh shit. well, barring a trip to colorado, it looks like super buffet will have to do. which is alright with.. Read More