Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Tacos

i must say, it’s been far too long since my last taco bell review. what a sad state of affairs!! i basically live at taco bell, sucking what little nutrients i can find from their many massive meat tubes behind the counter. the only problem being the inevitable dehydration from the constant diarrhea. ah well, such is life. such is love. today, we explore taco bell’s most neckbeardy creation to.. Read More

The Metro Restaurant and Lounge

to celebrate groundhog day this year, a group of us went to the tampa theatre to watch the holiday classic. after the movie, we were stuck in dreaded downtown tampa to find food, and fend off the angry drunken homeless. after being turned down by the brand new taco bus location (closed, pfft), and learning that square one burgers also closes at ten, we were locked in what seemed like.. Read More

Five Star Pizza

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME SHITTY PIZZA?? welcome to college, idiot. population: everyone. are you ready to not have any money, and eat what is basically the taste equivalent of dirt? you’d better be. because every night, for the rest of your college career, this will be your dinner: wow! five stars? that’s a lot of stars! like, all of ’em, right? all the stars? listen. lemme level with you.. Read More

Ribit’s BBQ

i recently moved to hyde park. hyde park! it’s hip. it’s cool. it’s like nice tampa. nice. and it’s filled with many small, fun, locally owned places to eat. perfect! it’s perfect. except for one thing… picture ┬ękkphotography DOUCHEBAGS! DOUCHEBAGS EVERYWHERE! yes, this is the curse of hyde park – scads of douchebags, drinking, dancing, and making out all over the place. howard in particular, what with its macdinton’s and.. Read More

Mema’s Alaskan Tacos

SO my girlfriend and i went down to ybor to see some kind of rock and roll show. we get there, and there’s this HUGE line of what appear to be pre-teens, all waiting to get into the same place we’re going. now, i’m already pissed as it is, because i hate ybor. it’s too hip for me. and i hate people. and there are lots of them running around.. Read More