ohhh superfoods… that ill-defined category of edibles shouting into your fat face “PUT ME IN YOUR DISGUSTING BODY!!!” it’s like your middle school gym teacher all over again. traumatic. superfoods come in all forms: fruits… and other things that grow from the ground. and the health benefits! why, consuming just one superfood a day will make you famous and get you a sexy dance partner! TRUST ME, i’ve done it… Read More
Bahama Breeze’s Legendary Island Cocktails
Setting: The “Internet” – a futuristic wonderland of glowing circuits and pure information flowing, through a series of tubes, from computer to computer. Thousands of people are all around, transporting themselves on computer keyboards functioning much like flying surfboards, wearing backwards baseball caps. Love flows freely. BAHAMA BREEZE, a giant beast of man with a tiny palm tree apparently growing from his head, approaches FOOD MONSTER, a slovenly, unbathed man… Read More
Philly Phlava
THE OTHER DAY, i was in the mood for something disgusting. you know how, every now and then, the mood will strike you to just devastate yourself, to abuse your body and show it who’s boss? that was what this was. to shake off all instinct for self preservation and do myself palpable harm, to rebel against this prison that is my body; to strike a victory for the.. Read More
Seasons 52 Summer Menu 2012
the seasons are changing! all 52 of them. they have now changed over to “summer mode”, also known as “nightmare mode” in florida. out with the free love and other hippie ideals of spring, and in with the scorching heat and stifling humidity of summer. not to mention, delicious summer foods! yes, summer is filled with distinct flavors. much as the pumpkin serves fall as its special bitch-fruit, summer has.. Read More
Angry Birds Fruit Gummies
i think it goes without saying, but angry birds is, without a doubt, the single greatest video game ever developed. i mean, come on! the characters! the story! the diversity in gameplay! and they’re just so darn cute! yes, angry birds is truly the gamer’s game. and in response to the public’s ravenous consumption of all things angry and bird-like, a phenomenon known as birdmania or bird-man fever, angry birds.. Read More