when i was young, we would go on vacation to my grandmother’s house in chautauqua, which means “place of easy death” (it seriously does… which answers a lot of childhood questions). in the nearby town of BUSTI, there was a small little candy shoppe with gigantic candy canes as columns. that place was called peterson’s corn crib candies.

IT WAS A MAGICAL PLACE. it was a magical time. nothing is better than a candy shop when you’re a kid (except toys r us), especially one that you had to drive out of your way to get to. we would all get in the van and truck on over there, then spend hours trying to figure out what it was that we were all going to get in our individual little boxes. they sold all sorts of candy, the majority of which they actually made themselves. a lot of chocolate, in various different forms. they had incredible little blocks of chocolate sandwiched peanut butter, and their chocolate covered jellies were the best. but somehow, my idiot child brain couldn’t get past the widely available sour patch kids.

the original sour patch kids, despite depriving me of precious box space, were and still are one of my favorite candies. they have seen countless variations, including watermelon, blue raspberry, peach, cherry, and about a million X-TREME versions, but nothing matched up to the original four flavors (lime, lemon, orange, and something they apparently call redberry). nothing, until NOW:

sour patch baggie

oh fuck. it’s berry flavored sour patch kids. alright, so apparently they’ve been around for like a year or so, but i only just found them recently. and when i did, i literally achieved sexual orgasm. and by literally, i mean figuratively, but i think they’re like synonyms now or something. FOUR NEW SOUR PATCH FLAVORS! amazing. and they’re not in stupid shapes, like the watermelons or sour patch extremes… they’re regular kid shapes. it’s as if the power rangers encountered a whole new group of rangers, with DIFFERENT COOL COLORS. and DIFFERENT COOL DINOSAURS. the dinosaurs equate to the flavors, and the colors equate to the colors.

sour patch berry kids

so what have we got here? a nice, dark red, pink, purple, and… my god. blue. blue fucking sour patch kid. it’s the holy grail of the sour patch!!! my child self would have killed himself with excitement (and mild childhood depression). the blue is blue raspberry, red is cherry, purple is grape, and pink is pink lemonade. the pink lemonade, i think, is the only flavor that hasn’t appeared elsewhere in sour patch history before. they are all quite good! the grape is a little more reserved, warmer than a lot of grape candies. pink lemonade is lightly citric, a bit fruity and sweet. the cherry is a nice, powerful candy cherry flavor. and the blue raspberry is bright and tart, kind of dying out into sweet in the end. they are just as sour as the regular kids, and retain the same chewiness as well.

it will not (cannot) replace the original four flavors. they will always stand tall as the first and the best. but these kids are a perfect accompaniment to the originals. i could see switching off and alternating between original and berry with every purchase. they are totally solid, and hopefully here to stay. try them out, and let your inner child rejoice.