Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

California Pizza Kitchen: THE NEXT GENERATION at the International Plaze in West Shore

Remember California Pizza Kitchen? Back before they became kings of the frozen food aisle, they used to have actual restaurants! Remember that? It may shock you to learn that those restaurants still exist today! And, perhaps even more mind blowing, these California Pizza Kitchens appear to be evolving into something new… something sentient, far more powerful and fancy, and featuring non-pizza food items. Believe it! Except for maybe that sentient part… Read More

Smokey Bones’ Smoked Prime Rib

steak is the best. it’s pretty much the best dinner ever. you get a steak dinner, and you feel like you’re tearing into an animal. there’s something primal about it. empowering. a steak dinner makes you feel like a king. …but a prime rib dinner makes you feel like a god. i was given a so-very-kind invitation to come check out the new smoked prime rib dinner (¡¡¡LIMITED TIME ONLY!!!).. Read More

EATS! American Grill

  EATS. AMERICA. GRILLS.   all the best stuff, packed into one place. that place? eats! american grill. it’s like uncle sam got stoned, wrote down all the food he craved, and passed out. then his sneaky nephew, america itself, went through his star spangled trousers, swiped the list and a wad of dough, and made a restaurant with it. this is that restaurant. eats! resides on south dale mabry,.. Read More

Bahama Breeze’s Legendary Island Cocktails

Setting: The “Internet” – a futuristic wonderland of glowing circuits and pure information flowing, through a series of tubes, from computer to computer. Thousands of people are all around, transporting themselves on computer keyboards functioning much like flying surfboards, wearing backwards baseball caps. Love flows freely. BAHAMA BREEZE, a giant beast of man with a tiny palm tree apparently growing from his head, approaches FOOD MONSTER, a slovenly, unbathed man… Read More

Seasons 52

every once in a while, some legitimate establishment, a classy joint, will get in contact with me and invite me to their place for something nice to eat. or drink. it is always very pleasant, but i tend to get the suspicion that perhaps they meant to message scallywag journeys, not me. and then when i show up, with scraps of my last meal still sitting in my full, luxurious.. Read More