Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Orangina

THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH …regarding orangina – wtf? this thing… this thing is a mystery to me. it’s got so much going on. there’s a lot to sort through on this one. where to begin?? let’s start at the top. literally, the top. the cap. the first thing you’ll notice about orangina is that it’s in a badass glass bottle, necessitating a badass cap. they feature a twist-off cap on.. Read More

Bubble Up

THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH do you remember back in the day, long before the lemon lime soda wars ended in the bloody death of 7-up, back when these sodas were a clear, crisp miracle for your taste buds? back when they truly were the un-cola? remember this little fucker: oh snap. that guy’s ready to mess shit up. and surf. you know, i never really got these abstract company mascots.. Read More

Ski

THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH WITNESS the unholy union of lemon and orange!! resulting in a whitish soda! contained in a green bottle! capped with a silver cap! named after a winter sport. what sort of mad person could devise such a brew, specifically designed to arouse and confuse the senses? with so much going on all at once, it’s a wonder i was able to drink any at all before.. Read More

Red Rock Premium Fruit Punch

THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH what is this shit? fruit punch?? that soda’s not brown. that’s a kid’s drink. FOR KIDS. only babies drink fruit punch. …i stand corrected. somehow i forgot that the most violent mascot in marketing history loves fruit punch. this guy can’t get enough of it! and i have a feeling that if you talked any shit about fruit punch, he’d let you know how he feels.. Read More

Cheerwine

THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH cheerwine. has a more glorious drink ever existed? experts say no. will a more glorious drink ever exist? fortune tellers say no. cheerwine has long represented for me something more than just a mere soda… opening a cheerwine usually accompanied liberation from the boundaries of florida on a family trip, entering new, better states, whose gas stations offered new, better sodas. cheerwine is only widely available.. Read More