ARE YOU READY FOR SOME SHITTY PIZZA?? welcome to college, idiot. population: everyone. are you ready to not have any money, and eat what is basically the taste equivalent of dirt? you’d better be. because every night, for the rest of your college career, this will be your dinner: wow! five stars? that’s a lot of stars! like, all of ’em, right? all the stars? listen. lemme level with you.. Read More
Lee Roy Selmon’s Restaurant
lee roy salmon… the man. the myth. the legend. he single-handedly took tampa bay and molded it into the lump of floridian half-pride that it is today. and then he died of a stroke. we honor his memory by eating the food he invented. in the year 2000, outback steakhouse had sex with lee roy, and they had a baby. that baby quickly grew into one of the 10 best.. Read More
Smoothie King’s Lean1 Smoothie
if you’ve read my blog before, you may have noticed certain… patterns in my food consumption. HEALTH-WISE. i’m not what you’d call a “health-conscious” eater. i don’t know what’s meant by a “2000 calorie diet”. when i see a nutrition facts label, i immediately turn the box to find the cut out mask on the back. it’s all foreign to me. and when i encounter somebody who has the audacity.. Read More
Subway’s BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich
while on the usf campus the other day, i noticed a sign on the window of subway – bbq pulled pork sandwich. i looked around me. …no sign of corpses. no still-living bodies writhing in pain. no puddles of fresh vomit. nothing. could subway be making a pulled pork sandwich that didn’t cause massive sickness, or the dead to rise again? i was dubious. i was also… hungry. i went.. Read More
Guest Review: Pappas Ranch Steakhouse & Bar Opening
Hello! Sleep here! Welcome to the second guest article for the Tampa Bay Food Monster blog. A few weeks ago, the Food Monster was asked to attend the opening of the new Pappas Ranch restaurant in beautiful Clearwater. Due to an obligation he couldn’t miss, the Food Monster asked me to cover this event for him. Now, I do not claim to be as much of an expert on delicious.. Read More