Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Big Belly Burgers

UPDATE: big belly burger is now permanently closed, its owners having all died of heart attacks. * * * BIG BELLY. a name that inspires confidence. that delights the senses. thrills the imagination! big. belly. kind of… kind of sexy, yeah? …okay no. it’s a terrible name. but clearly big belly burger is not concerned with appearances! APPEARANCES ARE DUMB. i can understand that. for example, i have a giant.. Read More

Athenos Fresh and Delicious

it’s greek time, bitches. athenos. fresh and delicious. right off the bat, they’re trying to tempt and confuse you with their insistence in quality, and wacky characters (Σ? who’s ever heard of Σ??). and spirals… synonymous with hypnotism. coincidence? i dunno… you tell me. EAT AT ATHENOS. hmm. seems fishy to me. but, brainwashing and dark magicks aside, athenos is just your standard strip mall greek place, serving up a.. Read More

Jo-To Japanese Restaurant

WARNING: the following review contains hardcore food pornography, and may only be suitable for viewing by persons ages 17 and older. if you do not wish to be exposed to such content, click here. when i was a kid, i went through a phase where all i would eat was tuna fish sandwiches. tuna fish sandwiches, all day, all night. just tuna. mayo. and bread. sammich. it was disgusting. but.. Read More

Fleming’s Steakhouse Caipirinha Cooler and Tickled Pink Cocktails

after our delightful experience at sidebern’s, and having displayed the ability to control myself and behave like a rational, quasi-well-mannered person in public, i was extended yet another invitation to try out some alcohol. i, myself, was shocked at this, having assumed that last time i had caused a scene and burned sidebern’s to the ground in a drunken rage after drinking far too much (one drink). well, it turns.. Read More

Wendy’s Asiago Ranch Chicken Club

wendy’s. quality is their recipe, eh? EH? bold claim for a fast food restaurant, wendy. but truth be told, wendy’s does do a pretty good job of having fresh (tasting) ingredients, and their meat is high quality. i always think of wendy’s as being a bit classier than other fast food burger chains. i mean, they sell baked potatoes! BAKED POTATOES, at a fast food restaurant! classy. so good. yeah… Read More