SO IF THERE’S ONE THING the food monster loves, it’s apples. apples. i’m a pretty healthy guy, you know? if i’m ever in the mood for a quick snack, or something sweet, i just pick up an apple. and then i eat that apple. with my mouth. MMM BOY. healthy. i guess first fruits of washington caught wind of my obsession with the fruit, because they offered to ship me.. Read More
The Metro Restaurant and Lounge
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOwhG_y0HQg] to celebrate groundhog day this year, a group of us went to the tampa theatre to watch the holiday classic. after the movie, we were stuck in dreaded downtown tampa to find food, and fend off the angry drunken homeless. after being turned down by the brand new taco bus location (closed, pfft), and learning that square one burgers also closes at ten, we were locked in what seemed.. Read More
Bubble Up
THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH do you remember back in the day, long before the lemon lime soda wars ended in the bloody death of 7-up, back when these sodas were a clear, crisp miracle for your taste buds? back when they truly were the un-cola? remember this little fucker: oh snap. that guy’s ready to mess shit up. and surf. you know, i never really got these abstract company mascots.. Read More
Wok N Roll Chinese Food
OH YES it’s the dirty world of chinese takeout! greasy, fried, MSG-laden, asian-styled food based off of bastardized recipes copied and pasted so many times over that it seems there may in fact be a portal going from the entrance of every takeout chinese restaurant to the same gross, sweaty kitchen. why do they exist in such numbers? why do they have to have such stupid names (happy wok, golden.. Read More
Burger King’s NEW French Fries
okay. so i went a little crazy for thanksgiving. what began as a challenge to myself to see how much i could eat in one day concluded itself in a symphony of physical anguish and mental collapse. i awoke at the crack of dawn on got straight to work, soloing my way through a tray of stuffing, half a casserole dish of green bean casserole, seven pounds of mashed potatoes,.. Read More