ARE YOU READY FOR SOME SHITTY PIZZA?? welcome to college, idiot. population: everyone. are you ready to not have any money, and eat what is basically the taste equivalent of dirt? you’d better be. because every night, for the rest of your college career, this will be your dinner: wow! five stars? that’s a lot of stars! like, all of ’em, right? all the stars? listen. lemme level with you.. Read More
Lee Roy Selmon’s Restaurant
lee roy salmon… the man. the myth. the legend. he single-handedly took tampa bay and molded it into the lump of floridian half-pride that it is today. and then he died of a stroke. we honor his memory by eating the food he invented. in the year 2000, outback steakhouse had sex with lee roy, and they had a baby. that baby quickly grew into one of the 10 best.. Read More
Taco Bell’s Bacon Ranch Chicken Flatbread Sandwich
have you ever lost someone you loved? lost someone, someone so dear to you, that your entire world fell apart as a result? i’m talking death, breakup, ended friendships, moving away… the breaking of a bond that was so strong that nothing else mattered beyond it. the end of life as you knew it. you ever have that? …’cause i have. once i had to bury my dead. turn my.. Read More
Burger King’s California Whopper
uh oh! looks like i’m gonna throw up after eating burger king again!! i think you always know what you’re getting into with fast food guacamole – delicious, well executed guac, made fresh daily based on a five century old recipe. oh fast food chains… stick to what you know. the california burger, burger king’s newest limited-time offering, is exactly what you imagine when you think of california: guacamole, bacon,.. Read More
Subway’s BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich
while on the usf campus the other day, i noticed a sign on the window of subway – bbq pulled pork sandwich. i looked around me. …no sign of corpses. no still-living bodies writhing in pain. no puddles of fresh vomit. nothing. could subway be making a pulled pork sandwich that didn’t cause massive sickness, or the dead to rise again? i was dubious. i was also… hungry. i went.. Read More