Tampa Bay Food Monster

okay so this may be the stupidest candy i’ve ever had the pleasure of eating. i picked this up the other day along with the milkybar. i did not care for the milkybar, but compared to this, the milkybar is like sweet ambrosia. but like… concept ambrosia. taste-wise, they’re both just lame.

what i’m trying to say here is whoever came up with this thing may have been an idiot. i had never heard of it, and it came in a little package, so was unsure of what i was getting. this is what i got:

it’s like a friggin volcano of dumb. it came packed with half a walnut, which apparently was supposed to be affixed to the top. i guess the trip over from the uk was too much for the walnut, but even if it was still stuck to the cone – what am i supposed to do with that? there’s no portioning of half a walnut! you eat it, and then eat the rest. for a candy called “walnut whip”, you’d expect some sort of walnut integration. but it’s more like they completely forgot it was supposed to be a walnut candy, and were like “oh shit, throw one dem thangs on der”. that’s- that’s probably how they talked.

on the inside of a thick (waaay to thick) milk chocolate shell is a whipped vanilla fondant, that seemed almost an entirely separate entity from the chocolate. the chocolate was okay, but the fondant was so light it was hardly there, and stacked up against the thickness of the chocolate, the thing may as well been empty. and the vanilla taste was practically nonexistent.

what a dumb… i hate this candy.