Tampa Bay Food Monster

SO IF THERE’S ONE THING the food monster loves, it’s apples. apples. i’m a pretty healthy guy, you know? if i’m ever in the mood for a quick snack, or something sweet, i just pick up an apple. and then i eat that apple. with my mouth. MMM BOY. healthy.

i guess first fruits of washington caught wind of my obsession with the fruit, because they offered to ship me some samples of their new genetically engineered hybrid apple, the OPAL APPLE. born from the forbidden love of topaz and golden delicious apples, the opal apple is the bad boy of the apple community, a brilliant yellow in color and ready to rock your world. probably. i mean, it is just an apple.

the opal apple is appley in flavor. its skin tastes and feels like standard apple skin. it is a bit sweet.

…okay i’m not doing well here. let’s try harder.

it’s a pretty sweet apple, and though their website claims it “finishes with a slight tang”, i don’t really see that. it’s just sweet throughout the bite. the skin is on par with other apples, no more tough than you’d expect, despite the apple’s firm, spankable exterior. the insides are not mealy or gross; they are exactly what you’re looking for in an apple. it is juicy, but not to the point that i need to clean myself up afterwards. oh, and this thing doesn’t brown. or, if it does, it takes forever to. which is pretty impressive.

but you know what? i don’t know crap about apples. so here are some other peoples’ opinions on these guys!

my girlfriend: they’re so sweet almost like sugar. sweetest fucking apple i’ve ever had. like eating a spoonful of brown sugar or chewing on sugarcane.

my mom: it’s good. firm and juicy, without being pithy. skins aren’t too tough either. (when asked if she’d had any sweeter apples) jeez i can’t remember. this one is just right. i’d buy the apples.

my friend/stripper, “candy apple”: crisp, light, sweet, juicy. when i bit it, it bit me back. it shocked my taste buds. it was a KY intense moment. all sorts of juices were flowing.

so there you go! opinions of people who actually have eaten apples before. and i enjoy these things, too. recently i was introduced to the honeycrisp variety, which i loved, and i’d say these definitely give them a run for their money.

OH and by the way, first fruits is giving a portion of all their sales to katie’s krops, a non-profit organization that sets out to help feed the hungry by giving kids the tools they need to start their own vegetable gardens. i am all for using food to help feed the hungry, so i can totally get behind this. and so can jesus.