i think it goes without saying, but angry birds is, without a doubt, the single greatest video game ever developed. i mean, come on! the characters! the story! the diversity in gameplay! and they’re just so darn cute! yes, angry birds is truly the gamer’s game. and in response to the public’s ravenous consumption of all things angry and bird-like, a phenomenon known as birdmania or bird-man fever, angry birds creator Healthy Food Brands has given an unholy birth to angry bird fruit gummies.
all your favorite angry birds are there! blinky, pinky, inky, clyde, and even the ‘angry bird’ himself, geoffrey! now i can nurse my hopeless addiction to a cell phone video game AND eat shitty gummy candies at the same time! not to mention help fund rovio, creators of such fantastic games as angry birds, angry birds seasons, and angry birds rio!! AWESOME! but how do they taste??
they suck. yeah, these gummies are pretty awful. the first thing you’ll notice, and the only thing you’ll find yourself thinking about, is that they are tough. tough like old bubble gum. as tough as i’d imagine those rubber cement pancakes were that donald duck made in that one cartoon from my childhood. tough gummies. you can eat them, but you are going to hurt your jaw, and you are not going to enjoy yourself. the flavors are bland. more than one of them reminded me of jell-o or kool-aid, maybe fun-dip. something hyphenated. these are nothing special. in fact, they are something to avoid. they are overpriced because of their association with some shitty phone game, and they are manufactured by a company more concerned with keeping their food healthy and gluten free than making it delicious. stupid.
forget the gummies. spend your time and money on the dumb games. or just play it for free here. (that’s much better than doing whatever shitty work you’re supposed to be doing for your job.)