THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH do you remember back in the day, long before the lemon lime soda wars ended in the bloody death of 7-up, back when these sodas were a clear, crisp miracle for your taste buds? back when they truly were the un-cola? remember this little fucker: oh snap. that guy’s ready to mess shit up. and surf. you know, i never really got these abstract company mascots.. Read More
DDrinkz Smoothies & Sweeties
remember boba? REMEMBER BOBA?? remember that shit. it’s still good. and it’s still alive. people are still making new boba places! so the fad didn’t die way back in 2009. at least not at DDRINKZ. oh god the place is called ddrinkz. there’s a z in there. and am i… am i supposed to pronounce the d? “dee-drinks”? “d’drinks”? i don’t know. it was confusing. but i suppose it’s inconsequential… Read More
Smoothie King’s Lean1 Smoothie
if you’ve read my blog before, you may have noticed certain… patterns in my food consumption. HEALTH-WISE. i’m not what you’d call a “health-conscious” eater. i don’t know what’s meant by a “2000 calorie diet”. when i see a nutrition facts label, i immediately turn the box to find the cut out mask on the back. it’s all foreign to me. and when i encounter somebody who has the audacity.. Read More
Ski
THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH WITNESS the unholy union of lemon and orange!! resulting in a whitish soda! contained in a green bottle! capped with a silver cap! named after a winter sport. what sort of mad person could devise such a brew, specifically designed to arouse and confuse the senses? with so much going on all at once, it’s a wonder i was able to drink any at all before.. Read More
Arizona Piña Colada Virgin Cocktail
OH THOSE BASTARDS at arizona have done it again! and by again, i mean for a second time. they’ve brought back their “very popular” (according to their website) piña colada virgin cocktail drink thing. now, maybe it’s my terrible memory, but i don’t remember this thing at all. ever. but i guess it did exist. and i guess it was popular enough to bring back (but not popular enough to.. Read More