this is something that i’ve intended to try since i saw the commercials…

oh boy! new food from shitto bell… and this time… it’s personal. annnd by personal i mean ‘authentic’, or in this case, ‘faux authentic’. but let’s not get ahead of ourselves! i went through the drive-through, and was greeted happily by the employee – “how are you doing?!” i chuckled and replied “well”. and that was the high point of this visit. nothing else i said immediately registered with this employee, and after each request i made, i had to repeat myself at least once. i ordered the three ‘cantina taco’ meal, one with chicken, one steak, and one CARNITAS, with a sweet tea. when i arrived at the window, i was asked, again, if it was a lemonade i wanted. as i handed them my credit card, i repeated i wanted a sweet tea. as the employee walked back into the chaos that was this taco bell to get my tea, she must have bumped into the tea spigot or something, because after a scream, i looked in and saw tea shooting out onto the floor. the employees laaaaughed! i should have taken this as a sign that something was going terribly wrong. and i was right.

so once i had escaped the restaurant and actually sat down to eat my food, i was delighted to find the tacos wrapped in simple aluminum foil, and each packaged with a lime wedge. i opened the first, steak, to find a scant amount shitty, chewy steak nuggets tossed onto two thick corn tortillas, topped with onions and cilantro. i gave the thing a lime squirt, and bit into it, to be met with only the taste of bland corn tortilla. it was all there was. there was so little meat, you could only really get a bit of the texture, and the rest was tortilla. it was much the same with the chicken, with a small bit of the same old taco bell-style chicken tossed onto another couple tortillas. so… not good.

the last was the carnitas, shredded pork. i was most excited about this one, as taco bell hasn’t really had any pork products that i’ve known of, so this would be a unique taste among the others, designed specifically for this item. this tortilla was a little better filled, but not so much that it should have been falling apart the way it was. i bit in, and at least this time i had more to taste than the corn – unfortunately, what i was tasting was like some kind of bad pot roast that had sat out for too long. it definitely had some semblance of a “homemade” flavor, but i couldn’t help but feel that that taste, in itself, tasted manufactured. it was, simply put, disgusting. what a fucking let down.

so… i advise against the purchase of this crap. luckily, they will only be around for a “limited time”. thank god this nightmare will soon end.