Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Ribit’s BBQ

i recently moved to hyde park. hyde park! it’s hip. it’s cool. it’s like nice tampa. nice. and it’s filled with many small, fun, locally owned places to eat. perfect! it’s perfect. except for one thing… picture ©kkphotography DOUCHEBAGS! DOUCHEBAGS EVERYWHERE! yes, this is the curse of hyde park – scads of douchebags, drinking, dancing, and making out all over the place. howard in particular, what with its macdinton’s and.. Read More

Burger King’s California Whopper

uh oh! looks like i’m gonna throw up after eating burger king again!! i think you always know what you’re getting into with fast food guacamole – delicious, well executed guac, made fresh daily based on a five century old recipe. oh fast food chains… stick to what you know. the california burger, burger king’s newest limited-time offering, is exactly what you imagine when you think of california: guacamole, bacon,.. Read More

Subway’s BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich

while on the usf campus the other day, i noticed a sign on the window of subway – bbq pulled pork sandwich. i looked around me. …no sign of corpses. no still-living bodies writhing in pain. no puddles of fresh vomit. nothing. could subway be making a pulled pork sandwich that didn’t cause massive sickness, or the dead to rise again? i was dubious. i was also… hungry. i went.. Read More

Arizona Piña Colada Virgin Cocktail

OH THOSE BASTARDS at arizona have done it again! and by again, i mean for a second time. they’ve brought back their “very popular” (according to their website) piña colada virgin cocktail drink thing. now, maybe it’s my terrible memory, but i don’t remember this thing at all. ever. but i guess it did exist. and i guess it was popular enough to bring back (but not popular enough to.. Read More

Red Rock Premium Fruit Punch

THE SODAS OF SUBS-N-SUCH what is this shit? fruit punch?? that soda’s not brown. that’s a kid’s drink. FOR KIDS. only babies drink fruit punch. …i stand corrected. somehow i forgot that the most violent mascot in marketing history loves fruit punch. this guy can’t get enough of it! and i have a feeling that if you talked any shit about fruit punch, he’d let you know how he feels.. Read More