Tampa Bay Food Monster

...eating food since 1985.

Smoothie King’s Lean1 Smoothie

if you’ve read my blog before, you may have noticed certain… patterns in my food consumption. HEALTH-WISE. i’m not what you’d call a “health-conscious” eater. i don’t know what’s meant by a “2000 calorie diet”. when i see a nutrition facts label, i immediately turn the box to find the cut out mask on the back. it’s all foreign to me. and when i encounter somebody who has the audacity.. Read More

Subway’s BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich

while on the usf campus the other day, i noticed a sign on the window of subway – bbq pulled pork sandwich. i looked around me. …no sign of corpses. no still-living bodies writhing in pain. no puddles of fresh vomit. nothing. could subway be making a pulled pork sandwich that didn’t cause massive sickness, or the dead to rise again? i was dubious. i was also… hungry. i went.. Read More

Taco Bell’s XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito

oh ho! another exciting new concept from my fast food favorite/most deadly addiction, taco bell. god how i hate you, taco bell. i loathe thee. yet still… i need you. i need you inside me. SO this time around, taco bell has turned their ordinary grilled stuft burrito, deemed “too damned tiny” by hungry millions, into a gigantic monstrosity the size of your forearm. but, unlike the relative failure that.. Read More

Wingstop’s Gliders

MOVE OVER CHUNK FILET! there’s a new chicken sandwich in town, and it’s from a wing place. excited? probably not. i mean, who cares, right? just another chicken sandwich. who doesn’t serve chicken sandwiches these days? even arby’s has started doing it. so whatchu got, wingstop? they call them “gliders”. i guess because wingstop tries to relate everything to airplanes or something. i mean, you go inside the place and.. Read More

Arby’s Angus Three Cheese & Bacon

i’m a bit late on this one. a bit a lot late. but that’s alright. we can’t all be perfect. maybe it’s time you lowered your expectations? you go through life expecting things of people, and you’ll only end up getting let down. especially by this review. and you don’t want that. you want this: so arby’s angus three cheese & bacon, first introduced in 1932, is arby’s attempt to.. Read More