uh oh! looks like i’m gonna throw up after eating burger king again!! i think you always know what you’re getting into with fast food guacamole – delicious, well executed guac, made fresh daily based on a five century old recipe. oh fast food chains… stick to what you know.
the california burger, burger king’s newest limited-time offering, is exactly what you imagine when you think of california: guacamole, bacon, swiss cheese, and mayo onions lettuce and tomato. welcome to california, bitches! it’s presented in this beautiful cardboard box, making all their other burgers look like the california whopper’s neglected, unloved, and possibly abused step-siblings. within the box is the burger itself, sheathed in an unnecessary wrapper, looking as chic as a national fast food chain can make one of their products look. well done, burger-doodle.
the burger itself actually feels a bit scantily clad compared to most special, promotional, or limited time whoppers. maybe they’re usually decked out with two patties? i dunno. the toppings here just feel a bit sparse. which would be fine; i’m assuming they do this to showcase the unique combination of flavors on this thing. problem is, the combination doesn’t blend together all that well. it tastes like you’re eating a burger that couldn’t make up its mind. the swiss cheese is good, but it plays strangely against the guacamole. and the bacon tastes pathetic, as usual for burger king, like it just popped fresh out of the microwave. the other toppings are negligible, except for the mayonnaise, which serves to make the guac seem much creamier than it is. which brings us to the big problem here…
the guacamole itself is totally lame. it’s shipped pre-made, likely in containers resembling caulking guns (go ahead… click it). it tastes vaguely reminiscent of guacamole, but it’s slightly grainy and pastey. not impressive in the least. had they wanted a good burger, they would have gone with fresh guac (or at least freshER guac) like steak ‘n shake does, and would have featured some thick cut red onions amongst the regular toppings (i am quite partial to ketchup on a guacamole burger). the focus should have just been the guac. instead, they give us this frankenstein’s monster of a burger. bluh.
…dammit burger king.