Tampa Bay Food Monster

why it’s my old friend burger king! how are you old friend? any new burgers lately? what’s that? you’ve STOLEN THE BIG MAC??? oh, burger king!

wellllllllll it looks like burger king is up to its old tricks again! after the king himself snuck into mcdonald’s headquarters, stole their secret recipe for egg mcmuffins, and then made a commercial about it, now it looks like he’s gone after mcdonald’s crown jewel – the big mac. the ingredients are the same (beef, lettuce, pickles, onions, thousand island dressing, american cheese, and a sesame seed bun), but the presentation is slightly changed (one patty, only two parts to the bun). it’s still the same amount of beef lumped into one patty, so basically they are just taking away the fun of that middle bun. which, admittedly, is a hell of a lot of fun.

i, in my simplicity, did not realize that the one beef patty was the equivalent of mcdonald’s tiny two, so i asked for an extra patty. more than two additional dollars later (wtf), i had my burger. it was a flimsy imitation of the legend that is the big mac. i wish i hadn’t wasted my time. it wasn’t bad, but it was neither a burger king burger, nor a big mac. the reason you buy a big mac is that signature (disgusting?) mcdonald’s taste, not because the ingredients go well together! the beef was all charred, and the sauce was a bit too sweet… burger king ingredients in a mcdonald’s sandwich. it was how i imagine eating a replicated burger in star trek would be – technically, it’s all there, but it’s just not quite right.

i just don’t get it. does the king think that maybe when we’re craving a big mac, we’d settle for a nearby burger king because they have the “deluxe cheeseburger”? sure, you’ll save some time going to the closer store, but when you’re lying in your beds, many hours from lunch, would you be willing to trade ALL the hours, from lunch hour to bedtime, for one chance, just one chance, to come back to burger king and tell the king himself that he may make our burgers, but he’ll never make… OUR BIG MACS!!!